Concerning My Health

September 28, 2016

BionicFarmer started out as a dog blog in 2007. What began as a chronicle of the adoption of my then-senior dog, Dolph, and then a general blog, is being revisited and changing focus.

The revival will focus on my severe depression and bipolar disorder, the past few years in its grip, on sick leave from work, the entire time, and isolated in a foreign country. What led up to this, and how I experience things today.

As a longtime professional and stable adult to my early 40s, I never could have predicted what would come to pass, not least how long it could take to recover. I still have symptoms, but they are nothing like the past 2+ years.

In recent months, I have spent a great deal of time wondering how the fuck I, born and raised in Los Angeles, ended up spending seven weeks in a psych department in a world-renowned university hospital in Berlin, established in 1710, a full 66 years before the American Revolution. The answer, in short, is because I’m human.

I want you to experience my journey, with me, in photos and drawings I’ve compiled along the way, along with newly written texts to frame this. Please feel free to comment or send me email privately. I welcome and look forward to the dialogue.

I have no idea how often I will post. My hope is that I will post often, even little bits. If nothing more than to get it out of my system and inform others of what it’s like to experience this horrible disorder.

The stigma of depression/bipolar disorder, and of all mental health illnesses, is absolutely unacceptable. I hope, along with others, to help change this.

I’ve collected a number of resources, information, on depression, scientific views, potential new treatments, videos, communities, and others’ experiences.  Have a look if you’re interested in learning more.


on hiatus

January 9, 2012

I should have updated this sooner only to say, this blog is on hiatus.

While I’ve been busy with the usual design consulting work, I’ve also been working on Souciant and contributing a bit, editorially, as well.

Have a look:

little big brother

November 6, 2010

Miles, circa ~1971


master reductionist

September 10, 2010

The beauty of Carl Sagan explaining the 4th dimension. It doesn’t get any more pure than this.

gratuitous rasterizing

September 9, 2010

Raster, Strasbourg, France



August 23, 2010

Some hotels have Buddhist scriptures along side the Bible, if  you’re lucky (and so inclined).  Most in the Western hemisphere simply offer the New Testament, especially in the US.

Suffice it to say, I was a bit surprised and intrigued  when, I found the Universal Declaration of Human Rights at my bedside table instead. Smart marketing, of course.  Also,  just plain smart.

Mandala Hotel, Berlin
Summer 2010

more is more

August 3, 2010

Less is more (except when it’s not).
Friedrichshain, Berlin

Ziggy played guitar…

July 10, 2010

Renaud Cojo’s staged testament to the beautiful complexity of the Ziggy persona.

Paris, June 2010

Stasi rugs

May 27, 2010

Of all the techno-gadgets, mid-century furniture, objects of devotion, torture and surveillance in the Stasi Museum, somehow I fell most in love with the rugs.

anti-fascist poster boy

April 12, 2010

Samariterstraße station, Berlin